she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
