Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
