drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
