is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
