Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Mom said you looked used
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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