Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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