So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
