This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is my gift to your gina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
