Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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