I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize