He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
