Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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