and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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