I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
