I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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