and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
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Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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