is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
