This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
not ubering you a puppy
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
