things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
