This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I have post one night stand depression
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