I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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