Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
