everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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