If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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