So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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