In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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