yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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