Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
