oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
