OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
