I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
