Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
