Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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