Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
