The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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