Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
40s are totally the cure
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
