Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
