I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
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I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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