party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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