Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
did i walk over a car last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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