I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
