My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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