when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize