did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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