Christians are straight up FREAKS
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
