On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
