well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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