There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
