I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
