Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
