I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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