I'm gonna have a badass scar
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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