i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
