so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
