it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
