It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
