she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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