Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
zippers are such a cool invention
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize