do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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