I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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